Deep Throat: Top 10 reasons why now?

10. He was sick of seeing Bob Woodward raking in the moolah for three decades.

9. At 91, it was about time he collected his real retirement package.

8. He was encouraging the FBI to come out with the truth on Iraq.

7. He was sick of hearing his grandson call him a “girlie-man”.

6. It was a pre-emptive strike before Al-Zawahri claims to be Deep Throat.

5. He saw Paris Hilton’s Carl’s Jr. ad and had a change of heart (oops it was a heart attack!)

4. He heard that the Bush administration was planning to attack Iran because they had evidence that Deep Throat was living in Iran.

3. He had a Reagan moment.

2. Someone introduced him to President Bush as Deep Throat, the President said, “mmhh…that’s a nice name, never heard that before!”

1. Mark “Felt” it was time he finally took his own advice to follow the money!

Michael Jackson

Check out this news report about the quotes from Jackson — ready made fodder for the late night talk show hosts! I hope this case is over once and for all. The media is nuts to be covering this on the front page every single day for god knows how long!

New Pope

I was surprised at the euphoria over the announcement of the new Pope. Radio and TV networks dropped regular programming to focus on the announcement. I was really surprised that NPR dropped its morning program to report live on the announcement. Its possible that media acted in a similar fashion in Europe, or at least parts of it. I can understand a quick announcement followed by return to regular programming, but this was not the case! Maybe this is an extension of the red states-blue states split facing the US, maybe the majority are in favor of this from the media.

Top 10 signs its a Kerry White House

10. Environmentalists are celebrating because a Bush has been planted in Texas.

09. Laura Bush is back to being a librarian, this time of the Bush Presidential library.

08. Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Wolfowitz openly distribute their Halliburton business cards.

07. New Social Security policy: “Don’t ask, Don’t touch”
06. Thanksgiving celebration all across the Middle East.
05. Bush says the unemployed should get the flu vaccine first.
04. Bush recommends building a Whitehouse in Bangalore to cut costs and is open to re-locating.
03. Boston and Chennai named sister cities as Tam-Brahms (Tamil Brahmins) bond with Bos-Brahms (Boston Brahmins).

02. Communication strategists have a new name for Outsourcing, its called “In-and-Out” Sourcing.

01. Arnie is having “fantastic” sex every single day!

Top 10 signs you are likely to vote for Kerry

10. If you knew everything you know today, before we invaded Iraq, you would still be both for and against the war.

09. You think that, push comes to shove, Teresa can write checks and bring down the deficit.

08. You can’t bear the thought of President Hillary Clinton in 2008.

07. You are scared to imagine the kind of things an out of work Bill Clinton would do in the White House come 2008.

06. You heard that Clinton advisors are back and think Lewinsky can’t be far behind.

05. You are tired of being jobless in America and hated in the world.

04. You won’t drink even if Bush wants to have a beer with you.

03. You love John Edwards so much, you don’t want to hurt him.

02. You are very upset because you think Tiger Woods’ title was outsourced.

01. You think that John Kerry looks like the perfect horse for America to ride.

Top 10 signs you are likely to vote for Bush

10. You can’t speak a single sentence in English without making a mistake.

09. You believe it is a good thing if you are forced to re-locate to Bangalore.

08. You hate the French.

07. You make way too much money and are sick and tired of paying taxes.

06. You believe that the best way to spread freedom is to stuff democracy down other countries throats.

05. You have fallen for Cheney’s good looks.

04. You think the environment is nothing to be concerned about as long as your heater and air-conditioner are working fine.

03. You think that the guy you like to drink beer with is more likely to protect you and your family.

02. You don’t care what the rest of world thinks of America or its citizens.

01. You are afraid Bush will be born yet again and kick your ass if you don’t vote for him.